Sex Please, We're Sixty, an American farce by Michael and Susan Parker
presented by special arrangement with Samuel French Inc.
Roles for 4 women and 2 men.
Auditions: Fri. Nov. 23rd at 6:30 p.m. OR Mon. Nov. 26th at 6:30 p.m.
all in the theatre
The Parkers take familiar British farce situations and put them into an American setting. Their plays are stereotypical, sex comedies, with over the top, bawdy, nonsensical plots. The result is a great deal of fun by innuendo.
The story takes place at Mrs. Stancliffe's, Rose Cottage Bed and Breakfast, in New England. She has repeat business (mostly women), who return to the cottage each year. Three women arrive on the same day, Victoria Ambrose, Hillary Hudson, and Charmaine Beauregard.
Mrs. Stancliffe's next door neighbour, Bud "the Stud" Davis, awaits the arrival of his "chicks", believing that the main reason these gals return each season, is to "romance" with him. Henry, another neighbour and wannabee suitor to Mrs. Stancliffe, is a retired chemist. He has developed "Venusia", a new pill, used to increase the libido of menopausal women, although it has yet to be tested. When Bud mistakenly takes the "Venusia", the bawdy, rollicking romp begins.
SEX PLEASE, WE’RE SIXTY CHARACTERS
Please note that the ages simply refer to the age of the characters, not the ages of the people auditioning (although this is a great play for our seniors to give a try!)
BUD DAVIS (Age 70+) The next door neighbour to Mrs. Stancliffe's Rose Cottage Bed & Breakfast. He is weak, frail looking (the frailer the better), and appears at first glance to have 'one foot in the grave.' However, over the years, he has become renowned among the female guests as "Bud the Stud." He claims responsibility for the success of the bed & breakfast, believing all the females return year after year to see him. He enchants all of them with his silver tongue and sexual prowess. (Very elderly, chauvinistic, brazen, but likeable)
MRS. STANCLIFFE (Age 60+) The owner of Rose Cottage Bed & Breakfast. She is a severe woman both in dress and manner. Precise in speech and punctuality, she gives the impression of efficiency and competence. She is intolerant of Bud's 'Hanky-Panky', with her guests, but reluctantly has to agree he is good for business. Pursued by her next-door neighbour Henry, she refuses to let him into her life, until surprising events finally bring them together. (Sensible, practical, punctual, business like, menopausal, finally radiant and sensuous) very organized methodical character. Is a rock. She’s a great contrast to Bud who just flies off the cuff.”
HENRY MITCHELL (Age 60+) A retired chemist and Mrs. Stancliffe's Gentleman Caller.' He is a mild mannered man who has proposed to Mrs. Stancliffe every afternoon for twenty years. He is always the perfect gentleman, and shows a great deal of respect for all the women around him. He has developed Venusia, a pill to increase the libido in menopausal women, but refuses to test it on moral grounds. Bud calls him 'A stick in the mud', and he probably is, but he eventually comes out of his shell. (Gentle, caring, thoughtful, loveable) Scientific mind-thought that is proven and tested. He’s a direct contrast to Bud.”
VICTORIA AMBROSE (Age 50+) Victoria is a renowned author who writes steamy romantic novels. She pines for romance in her personal life, but finds none. Flattered at first by Bud's attentions, she later sees him as the shallow, insincere 'Casanova' that he really is and readily joins the plot to turn "Bud the Stud" into "Bud the Dud." (Pretty, serious, intelligent, menopausal) a history of downward spiraling romances and gets caught in a trap. “She gets involved and just wants to help people.”
HILLARY HUDSON (Age 50+) Hillary is beautiful, well educated, articulate and sophisticated in both manner and dress. She is an old friend and co-worker of Henry's who agrees to test the Venusia pills. Initially sceptical of Bud's attentions, she gradually warms towards him, but is it the Venusia or Bud's charms? (Elegant, charming, best described a 'A touch of class', intelligent and menopausal) Hilary provides one of the play’s surprises. Hilary has enjoyed a past relationship with Henry, and has done a great job of maintaining herself. “She’s educated and vain and wants to come off being more sophisticated than she is.”
CHARMAINE BEAUREGARD (Age 50+) Charmaine is the quintessential southern belle. She is definitely here at Rose Cottage for "Bud the Stud." Of all people, she does not need Venusia, as her entire life seems to be run by her overactive libido. However, she is a proud woman who will not be two-timed by Bud, and becomes the leading light in the plot to tame him. (Voluptuous, out-going, gushing, demonstrative, southern accent, menopausal) Charmaine is the in-your-face southern belle. She’s Blanche Devereaux (Golden Girls) on steroids. Rita’s whole approach is like that. Throw in an accent and that makes her so much fun to watch.”